Today I turn 39 and a half.

Actually I turned 39 and a half at 4:05 am this morning.  I’m sure most of the people in the world that I love slept right through the momentous event.  In fact, I did.  The only reason the kids are excited about my half birthday is our tradition of visiting the cupcake store to get a gluten free confectionery.

Oh, I forgot to mention, it was Ruth’s birthday this week.  There will also be a stop at the doggy bakery because we are those kind of canine owners.  You know the ones — that personify their dog.

This morning I started reading Jen Hatmaker’s book, For the Love {aff link}.  My friend, Sarah — who is truly often a lifesaver, left it for me to read on my airplane ride to Ecuador next week.  But I just couldn’t resist the temptation to crack open the spine and dive it.  It was just that kind of morning.  A slow one that needed strong tea and refreshing words.

God’s timing is truly impeccable.  For the Love has been in my Amazon wish list for some time.  Today I woke up feeling guilty for telling friends, not just people, but friends, “NO.”

No, I can’t meet.  Yes, I’m a heel, and I’m not keeping my word on this appointment, but I can’t meet.  You see, with me leaving — like leaving the country leaving and trusting a stranger to fly me over a large expanse of water, makes me a homebody.  Like it compels me to be so attracted to my kids that I just want them all to myself because of some irrational fear of, “What if?”

I need talked off of the ledge here.

The reality is that my short trip to the Ecuador, while different than my normal modus operandi, should prove uneventful, except for the fact that my traveling companion is Carisa, who make me laugh.

But back to my guilt.

We’ve taken an interest in a certain precision sport that can be dangerous.  And I feel like our life has been a ride on that bullet. Shooting guns is safe, so long as you hit the target.  And our traveling and teaching essential oil classes, and hosting events at our house, has been hitting the target — but I don’t want to jepordize my relationships with my kids in how I spend the next 4 days.

Sure they can recover.

But I don’t want them to recover from my trajectory miscalculation.

And so today is a day spent with my kids.  This weekend is family weekend.

Jen Hatmaker writes, “We need to quit trying to be awesome and instead be wise.”

Wisdom today is extra snuggles, Growly on the couch, the Flying Cupcake, buying our dog a lavish pupcake, and dating the Engineer.

Wise Women know what to hold onto and what to release, and how to walk confidently in their choices — no regrets, no apologies, no guilt. ~ Jenn Hatmaker

Is saying no to friends or business hard for you?

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