Why Am I Always Worried?
I discovered a happy little quote,
“One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats.” — Iris Murdoch
It is no secret to my family that I am HIGHLY motivated by treats — be it chai, a walk, a family bike ride, snuggling on the couch, or a movie. Give me an incentive, and I’ll pretty much do whatever they want.
Within reason.
This morning, I read in Gretchen Rubin’s book, Better Than Before, that “when we give ourselves treats, we feel energized, cared for, and contented, which boosts our self-command — and self-command helps us maintain our healthy habits.”
It is for this reason I write today. I’m trying to maintain healthy habits — and blogging is my treat — my reward.
Because you see, I am reading another book by Lysa TerKeurst titled, Am I Messing Up My Kids? Yesterday, I read a very poignant chapter.
Why Am I Always Worried?
Like I have the WEIRDEST things that I worry about. What if the kids step on rabbit poop while barefoot? What if the hairbrush gets tangled in Omi’s hair and I have to cut a chunk of hair out? What if I get hit in a car wreck and none of the kids are in the car — would the Engineer remarry right away? I worry about the kids being passengers in friends’ cars. I am anxious when I leave the kiddos and the Engineer. Flying on an airplane or driving long distance, especially without the kids — don’t even go there with me. What if I need to give they Heimlich? Is the zipper closed on the trampoline? Did I turn the lights off? Did the basement flood while we were gone? Do we have mold?
All a bit irrational.
But I discovered that I am not alone in this worry. Lysa TerKeurst is totally fearful like me. And it’s not that we don’t love and trust the Lord. Its just that . . . well . . . we worry.
TerKeurst once asked her husband if he worried about they kids when they weren’t with them.
No.
I know that the Engineer often shakes his head at my over-imaginative thoughts that do not exist in reality.
Releasing My Firstborn
This week, my firstborn went off to Summer Fest at our church. I have A G O N I Z E D over this decision for weeks. In fact, I didn’t sign him up until 3 days before he was to attend.
I worried about the kids he would meet, the food provided, the content, being 20 minutes away from me, a shooting, wrecking on my way home . . .
Him spreading his wings . . . and growing up.
What I Know
What I do know, before you think I am totally psycho, is that my thoughts must be held captive and made obedient unto Christ. I don’t let my fears stop me from LIVING life. I just have to work through issues a bit longer than most rational people.
“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life.” — Matthew 6:27
I have to claim scripture more and use emotional oils to help my body remember — because memories are often triggered and tied to aromas. (TerKeurst has some great scriptures to work through in her book.)
What I know is that I’m not alone. I had no idea that other women struggled with this worry like I do. So, this week as we launched our son into young adulthood (because we don’t believe in calling our child a tween or teen), Lysa’s chapter couldn’t have come at a more perfect time.
And to reward myself, I offered my fingers a treat: blogging.
Cheers to reinforcing healthy habits and taking every thought captive.
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
Isaiah 43: 2, 3
Love you girl!