I discovered a happy little quote,

“One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats.” — Iris Murdoch

It is no secret to my family that I am HIGHLY motivated by treats — be it chai, a walk, a family bike ride, snuggling on the couch, or a movie.  Give me an incentive, and I’ll pretty much do whatever they want.

Within reason.

This morning, I read in Gretchen Rubin’s book, Better Than Before, that “when we give ourselves treats, we feel energized, cared for, and contented, which boosts our self-command — and self-command helps us maintain our healthy habits.”

It is for this reason I write today.  I’m trying to maintain healthy habits — and blogging is my treat — my reward.

Because you see, I am reading another book by Lysa TerKeurst titled, Am I Messing Up My Kids?  Yesterday, I read a very poignant chapter.

Why Am I Always Worried?

Like I have the WEIRDEST things that I worry about.  What if the kids step on rabbit poop while barefoot?  What if the hairbrush gets tangled in Omi’s hair and I have to cut a chunk of hair out?  What if I get hit in a car wreck and none of the kids are in the car — would the Engineer remarry right away?  I worry about the kids being passengers in friends’ cars.  I am anxious when I leave the kiddos and the Engineer.  Flying on an airplane or driving long distance, especially without the kids — don’t even go there with me.  What if I need to give they Heimlich?  Is the zipper closed on the trampoline? Did I turn the lights off?  Did the basement flood while we were gone? Do we have mold?

All a bit irrational.

But I discovered that I am not alone in this worry.  Lysa TerKeurst is totally fearful like me.  And it’s not that we don’t love and trust the Lord.  Its just that . . . well . . . we worry.

TerKeurst once asked her husband if he worried about they kids when they weren’t with them.

No.

I know that the Engineer often shakes his head at my over-imaginative thoughts that do not exist in reality.

Releasing My Firstborn

This week, my firstborn went off to Summer Fest at our church.  I have A G O N I Z E D over this decision for weeks.  In fact, I didn’t sign him up until 3 days before he was to attend.

I worried about the kids he would meet, the food provided, the content, being 20 minutes away from me, a shooting, wrecking on my way home . . .

Him spreading his wings . . . and growing up.

What I Know

What I do know, before you think I am totally psycho, is that my thoughts must be held captive and made obedient unto Christ.  I don’t let my fears stop me from LIVING life.  I just have to work through issues a bit longer than most rational people.

“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life.” — Matthew 6:27

I have to claim scripture more and use emotional oils to help my body remember — because memories are often triggered and tied to aromas.  (TerKeurst has some great scriptures to work through in her book.)

What I know is that I’m not alone.  I had no idea that other women struggled with this worry like I do.  So, this week as we launched our son into young adulthood (because we don’t believe in calling our child a tween or teen), Lysa’s chapter couldn’t have come at a more perfect time.

And to reward myself, I offered my fingers a treat: blogging.

Cheers to reinforcing healthy habits and taking every thought captive.

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

Isaiah 43: 2, 3

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